English Language Annoyance
Written on November 16, 2011 by Jim Stelling
Filed Under: Anything, Articles, Funny, General
I had an English teacher for a mother, so I know a lot about the English language. I know that commas are placed in a sentence to represent a pause, I know that past participles are important in everyday sentences, and I know that most people don’t use proper grammar when they write.
Which brings me to my point.
Yesterday, I was reading one of those magazines that have all of the coupons in them. You know the ones; they convince you that you can afford that restaurant because it’s now 30% off your next meal or that you really want that manicure because you’ll get a free bottle of polish thrown into the package. I’ve always loved surfing the pages for coupons I’ll use.
Anyway, I came across an ad that said “custom exhaust sacramento” and was temporarily stalled in my search. You see, I didn’t really know what the ad was for. Later, I continued reading the ad and discovered that it was for an exhaust system for cars that you can customize to fit your vehicle and your own style preferences. But just reading the words “custom exhaust sacramento” put several things into my head.
Tired – I’ve been pretty tired in the past, enough so to where I would count myself as exhausted. So when I read that you could literally buy exhaust in Sacramento, I tried to figure out who would want it. Maybe college students who don’t want to take a certain test so they buy exhaust and sleep through class? Maybe an insomniac who has been dreaming (not literally) of sleep for a long while? So many options, so little time!
Prepositions – Apparently the preposition has gone the way of the dodo bird because people seem to forget about them constantly. It drives me nuts. If I started writing without prepositions, my sentences would not make sense. For instance, whenever I had go the bathroom, I would be the stall I came. SEE??!!
Exhaust – By the time I figured out it might have something to do with mufflers and such, my brain jumped to the idea that custom exhaust must be pretty special. Maybe the exhaust fumes had an additive that made them smell good? Maybe the exhaust cloud could come out in multiple colors, like green exhaust for a red car at Christmas? Maybe it was a special exhaust that was custom made to not ruin the environment when expelled from the tail pipe? Again, so many options.
In the end, I moved on. But I never even considered buying a new exhaust system. Advertisers, let’s take my experience into consideration. Either learn to use complete sentences and proper grammar or learn to make exhaust that appears yellow and smells like lemons.
Tags:
